All You Need is Love

 
 
As most know my motto, and one I have strived to live by, is Make Your Dream Your Story.  My life is a testament to the metamorphosis from dream to reality. I also preach that we should not be ruled by our fears. Ah but my life experience created a significant and justifiable fear of being married. Frankly it has been the single worst experience of my life, so why on earth would I want to do it again?  Ergo the conflict I have been dueling for the last year.

To understand the conflict, one must look at the Filipino culture, it is a collection of hard beliefs that they really live by.  The most significant is the love of family, it rules over all other human needs and actions, period.  Donna comes from a classic model Filipino family; hard working loving parents who dedicated their lives to the happiness of their children with no exceptions. Coming from meager beginnings they made sure all the girls had access to higher education, three of the six hold degrees, two on the way. They were so cash strapped that when Donna was born they could not afford to get her birth certificate for a month, hence she has two birthdays.  From these stark beginnings a remarkable family has evolved, all loving, dedicated, educated and unyielding in keeping the family strong.

 
 
The basis of the stalwart family structure is marriage. Coming from the west with a 50% divorce rate and quickie weddings done by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas, we are not prepared for the intensity of the Filipino nuptials.  For starters there is no such thing as divorce here, period. I have recently been given a crash course on the legal complexities of the Filipino wedding, it is not easy nor is it intended to be.

So, with my deeply entrenched fears and fist thumping pledges of “never again” why am I sitting here, surrounded by family, preparing for “My Big Fat Filipino Wedding” and with heart throbbing excitement? Because I actually listened to my own advice!

Donna, like every Filipino girl, has dreamed of a big formal, all in wedding her entire life. This dream is as real to her as my dream of cruising the world was to me. Both dreams have plenty of “logical” reasons they should not come to reality, both fly in the face of common sense. For the last year or so we have had the fencing match, her dreams vs my fears. Honestly the day she dropped her sword on the ground and in a saddened voice said, “I give up, I will not be married, I know you will never marry me” is the day it hit me. Me, the trumpeter of Make Your Dream Your Story, had just killed the lifelong dream of the woman I so dearly love.  I had won the sword fight but lost touch with my soul.

 
 
It was that day I wrote a blog entitled All In, and the day I started making plans for a monumental proposal. From that day on I have been All In, oh boy howdy.  Without the basis of the Filipino family to guide me I did not realize I was also making a whole bunch of other dreams come true. It was the day Papa announced he was “killing a pig” for the pre- wedding party that I realized how huge this was to the family, a family I have grown to love. This will be the first time Papa gets to walk a daughter down the isle.  That party has now grown to having a live band and wow, they’re killing two pigs! Mama has been flittering about the village inviting people and preparing for a massive feast. The sisters are all a flutter with talk of dresses and make-up. There are 5 ladyboy makeup artists needed. Even the children are jazzed, five flower girls!

I confess my original reaction to the wedding plans, “why do we need that?” or “can’t we get by with half that” are all gone, I am now the one doubling downing. They suggested a wedding singer, I said get me 6 and a trumpet player to do the Beatles song “All you Need is Love”.  They suggested some confetti, I said, hey fireworks are legal here.  They suggested a one-man band for the reception, we now have an eight-piece show band with light show.

My favorite trip to excess, the rings.  First off, I inherited my mother’s wedding ring from her first marriage to my father. It has a large diamond, Grandpa was a jeweler. My parents were both great people and great parents but did not have a happy marriage, at all. The Diamond went on to another unhappy marriage so by the time I got it here I believed it to be cursed. I had considered selling it even though it is the only thing of my mother’s I own.  Again, I faced my fears, and knowing a diamond was only as good as the love of the person giving it, I gave it to Donna as her engagement ring, she loves it.  There were also some small diamonds in the box I got from Mom.  Everyone knows my passion for whales and dolphins, and distain for the ordinary, so I had custom dolphin rings made for our wedding rings.  I am blessed to be “marrying” a family not just one person, so we got Piam a matching ring. He will be the only kid in his village with a diamond ring I bet. I am adamant about making him part of all this, I do love the little rascal.

 
 
So, tomorrow the trumpets will play, the choir sing, the doves fly and the party begins and I will have conquered fears to Make our Dream our Story.

 
 
Make Your Dream Your Story

Capt. Brian Calvert

M/Y Furthur

www.furthuradventures.com

Comments

barbara 11/28/2017
What a wonderful love story!!we are looking forward to seeing you and meeting your forever love!!
barbara 11/28/2017
What a wonderful love story!!we are looking forward to seeing you and meeting your forever love!!
Flasher 11/25/2017

Brilliant write up Capt...you and Donna (my good friend Preying Mantis) make a handsome couple and I wish you both all the very best for the future...

Cheers,  Flasher

smcmurtrie 11/18/2017
SUBJECT: Re: All You Need is Love Wow Thanks Brian. I wish all of you a great life together. Steve aka Santa On 11/16/17 5:15 PM, Furthur Adventure wrote: >
Jo Salzer 11/18/2017

Your message is beautiful Brian.  You have truly grown emotionally and spiritually during your cruising years, its been great to see you evolve into the man who is celebrating love and family today.

We've been married 47 years and were all in too...thats the secret...go all in as you have!  We are very excited for you -today sounds epic.

Can't wait to see the pictures. Wishing you Love, Light & Laughter?? Ade & Jo Wandering Star

paul.fiore 11/17/2017
SUBJECT: Brian!!!!! Re: All You Need is Love Brian! Brian! BRIAN!!! Every time I think of you I think of my best friend from Dana point, Mike! Please accept my a-PAUL-ogy of all apologies! ~Paul Paul Fiore USA Cell 925.262.6589 > On Nov 16, 2017, at 5:15 PM, Furthur Adventure wrote: > >
paul.fiore 11/17/2017
SUBJECT: Re: All You Need is Love W. O. W. !!! Jasmah is arriving to meet me in Las Vegas for a few days of R&R after an intense business trip ( you met her at Some point at Jaswant’s or elsewhere in K. K.?) I am going to start back from the beginning and read this entire story out loud with her and basque in the glory of these beautiful pictures and your sincere and genuine story that was once a dream. This is absolutely epic in every way and I need to pass this forward to as many people as I can. God bless you Captain Mike! I’m gonna put your wedding picture on the wall with my family right next to mine, from the tribal wedding we had in Borneo 5 years ago. Our stories are aligned in many ways and I can always look up to you and your guiding light as a mentor because of your openness and transparency and how you live your life in such a giving way. You have delivered aid and happiness to so many people. I hope to see you late February or early March as we will both be in KK for a few weeks. God bless you, safe travels and congratulations to you and you’re very very lucky family! Mike, we are all lucky to have you in our lives ... we are blessed equally as much! ~Paul & Jasmah ******* Paul Fiore / Sea-Level Sails Seattle WA / Kota Kinabalu / Newport Beach CA USA Cell 925.262.6589 > On Nov 16, 2017, at 5:15 PM, Furthur Adventure wrote: > >
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SUBJECT: RE: All You Need is Love All the best v/r Bob Bjornemo NSYSA VP of Competition nsysa.competition@[...] ? (360) 509-9498 Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. [05E05B8E18D0420FA604F21F16618B23] From: Furthur Adventure [mailto:blogcomments-8Q4I6@[...]] Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2017 5:15 PM To: counstable_bob1@[...] Subject: All You Need is Love
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Jeannee Renee Brown 11/16/2017

Brian I have known you for many decades, I am so happy for you and your new family, your story brought tears to my eyes as I know the genuine person you are, always stayed the course when you got it inyour head, when doing the right thing is the right thing, I am so happy for Donna and Piam, I love how that little guy loves and adores you, all in one family ??????

I hope one day to meet your new family, I'll put  PI  on my bucket list, because that's what dear friends do, stay in touch, your  memoirs are just heaven on earth, God bless you and your new family, you did the right thing, making a girls dream come true, you are a very lucky man????wish I was there for the pig roast, wow two at that!! And big bands, can't wait for videos and pictures, you keep him to that Donna, you are beautiful in your own style, I am sure you are going to look ABSOLUTLY stunning on your wedding day with all your sisters, ????????? To thesoon to be newly weds.

Best wishes for your never ending love... That is so special,

happiness, joy, peace and Love

Jeannee Renee

 

jimflaherty 11/16/2017
SUBJECT: RE: All You Need is Love Brian, this made me smile. May God bless you both, and Piam too. Jim From: Furthur Adventure [mailto:blogcomments-8Q4I6@[...]] Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2017 8:14 PM To: jimflaherty@[...] Subject: All You Need is Love
gilbertenterprises 11/16/2017
SUBJECT: Re: All You Need is Love Congratulations, Brian - to you and Donna and Piam. What a huge thing you are doing. Very happy for you. With warm regards, Mark Gilbert Mark Gilbert CPYB Nordhavn Yachts NW 2601 W Marina Place, Suite S Seattle, WA 98199 USA mark.gilbert@[...] www.nordhavn.com 206-223-3624 office 206-223-3628 fax 206-300-1325 cell On Nov 16, 2017, at 5:15 PM, Furthur Adventure > wrote:
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